Fear has the power to stop you in your tracks. In this post, we're going to explore where fear comes from, how you should look at your fear, and how to treat it.
This is the Walk You Through It Blog where I take you with me on a journey through things I've struggled with and together we walk through how to overcome them and move forward.
"The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." --Nelson Mandela
Fear is normal. It's not trivial. There's a reason that fear exists. If you're afraid that's alright... you're not alone. The purpose of this post is not to tell you that you shouldn't feel fear. It's to show you that your capable of handling the fear, rather than succumbing to it.
Why am I afraid?
Let's begin by looking at why you're afraid in the first place. Fear is your brain's way of trying to keep you safe. Anything that is unknown or new can produce fear. Anything that stretches you beyond your current abilities and comfort zone can and most likely will produce some level of fear. That's completely natural. Fear isn't our enemy.... it is our friend.
Rational vs Irrational Fear
Some fears that we experience are going to be valid and rational. Other fears are going to be false and irrational. Some say that fear is an acronym. F.E.A.R.
FALSE
EVIDENCE
APPEARING
REAL
It's up to you to look at your fears and determine whether a fear that you have is rational or irrational. Take out that journal of yours because it's time to write out your fears and evaluate them.
Treat the fear like it's your friend.
Since our brain is trying to protect us through fear, we have to recognize this and be grateful for the protection. Maybe their is a real threat out there. Or maybe there isn't. Once you've determined which fears are rational and which are irrational then it's time to think about those fears in a different light.
Think of it this way. You start dating John and your best friend Susie says "You need to be careful with John. I don't think you should be dating him. I have a bad feeling about him." or maybe Susie's heard a rumor about John. Susie isn't telling you this because she wants you to be alone or unhappy. She is telling you this because she's looking out for you. She's trying to protect you. You on the other hand really like John and he hasn't given you any signs that what she is saying is true. Unless you see otherwise, what do you think your response to Susie would most likely be? I think it would go something along the line of: "Thanks Susie. I know your looking out for me but I'm going to see him anyway."
This is exactly the way we need to treat our fear. Treat your fear like it's your friend Susie who's just trying to protect you. Acknowledge the concern, thank your brain for trying to protect you, and tell it that your going to do it anyways.
Face your fear.
Something happens when we confront our fears: We don't become less afraid. We gain courage. When we willingly face our fear, we realize that we are capable of more than we originally thought. We become bigger than our fear. We gain courage. The more that you confront what frightens you, the stronger you become as a person. It's not that you aren't afraid anymore. You are scared but you also know that you are capable of surviving the thing that you fear.
If you have an irrational fear, it's time to confront it. It is time you slay your dragon. It's time to be the thing that contends with the fear. This is the path forward. Start small. As you do one small thing to face your fear it's time to celebrate that victory and the next day you can do another small thing. Those small wins add up and eventually you'll find yourself in a situation handling the thing you are afraid of with ease.
If fear is stopping you from living a life that you love then scroll to the bottom of this page and fill out the form where it says to reach out to coach stanish. We'll work through your fear together. You don't have to do this alone.
Thank you so much for reading! A new blog post is released every Sunday at 5:55am EST. See you next Sunday!
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